The First of the Lasts

I am on countdown mode as I start a week of "lasts." My last Monday conference call, my last Tuesday jog around Lost Lake, etc. My time here is quickly reaching terminal status. Today I turned over my desk, computer, phone etc. to my relief, LCDR Fitzpatrick. Our building is overflowing with people and now I have no place to sit and no extra computer to use. With the constant turnover, I am the most senior person in the office (by time in theater, not rank). Since I have no place to sit, I told the Colonel that I would agree to a consulting contract at double my hourly rate for the remainder of my tour and would work from "home." He told me to go sit in the corner, be quiet and try not to irritate any senior officers before I left. He might be on to me . . .

Camp Slayer: The Tour


Camp Slayer is one of the seven main coalition camps within Victory Base Complex and emcompasses what use to be the official Republican Guard "playground." The playground inlcuded a huge six-level brothel, the Baath Party House and Saddams never quite completed "Victory over America Palace." (You really can't make this stuff up). Well, if you know any good handyman types, there are a few repairs to be made here now, with thanks to the munitions and skill of the Air Force. My roomate Erick and I took the official tour of these Camp Slayer landmarks.


The imposing but never finished Victory Over America Palace was intended to be Saddam's primary residence.

In the Baath Party House. No, not for parties, Saddam's political party was the Baath party. Don't make me make you watch AFN commercials (see below). This was the room where Saddam gave the pre-war interview to Dan Rather. The roof leaks but they are still working on finding the hole . . . you just never know where that water is coming from.

Inside the Victory Over America Palace. The builder was a French contractor. Hey France, we have some raw building materials for you to retrieve . . .

Erick and I stand in the Baath Party House overlooking the center - the whole building was on stilts above the lake.

The Perfume Palace from across the lake. Not considered a "military" target, the palace emerged unharmed and now serves as office space for coalition operations.

Signs of the Times

Betcha ya don't see this where you live (and if you do, it was time to move a long time ago).

One Last AFN Commercial Highlight

As you may recall from a previous post, Armed Forces Network (AFN) does not play regular commercials but instead, plays campy military-ish public service commercials about stuff like looking both ways before you cross the street or how to tape a package for mailing. I now have a new favorite. A kindly looking elderly woman named Kay Blakely does commercials for the military commissary system. The commissary is the on-base grocery store (not here in Iraq, but on bases in the U.S., Europe, etc). The commericals promote healthy eating choices and here is, verbatim, the newest one:

Kay Blakely: "Eating whole grain bread is a healthier choice. How can you tell if the bread you are buying is whole grain? [holding up a loaf of bread from the shelf] Look for the word 'whole' [points to word] in front of the word 'grain' [points to word] on the bag."

OH CRAP!! Seriously??? Is that what I keep doing wrong?! This is the kind of label-reading information we don't want Iran to have, so lets just keep this tip to ourselves, okay?