January's Meet a Member of the Coalition

Crikey mate! It's the lads from down under, it's the Aussies!

I could not allow the month of January to pass without an installment of Meet a Member of the Coalition! And who better to highlight than those laid back slip-a-shrimp-on-the-barbie troops? Their goofy desert dalmatian uniforms aside, the 900 Australians in theater are the second largest contingent behind the British and provide me with endless amusement as they irreverently walk 12-abreast down the road seemingly oblvious to vehicle traffic.

The Australians are somewhat less parochial with their rules and although fenced in and largely secured from eyesight, their beer garden and BBQ pit is a frequent reminder of why I've been visiting soyouwanttobeanaussie.com.

Signs of the Times

Now you just know that really only the Army would need to have this explained to them with a sign. Most likely there is also a checklist that goes with it and the requirement that a colonel must sign-off.

Please Return Your Seat to the Fully Upright Position

With the ethereal glow from the interior lights, we board a C17 Globemaster for the trip back from Qatar.

I'm dedicating this posting to air travel in Iraq. No long commentary, just some good photos and the video below. Enjoy.

The port M240-H gunner keeps a watchful eye as we pass low and fast above a Baghdad neighborhood.

Every exciting trip starts in a waiting room much like this. That's not shadowing you see on the tent's canvas sides, that's probably no more than 2 days worth of dust accumulation.

Helicopters, like figher jets, always travel in pairs. Here is our wingman with the expanse of desert sand below on a recent trip from Coalition Operating Base Speicher back to Baghdad.


Waterfront property anyone? The Tigris winds its way through a neighborhood outside of Taji.

An Australian Royal Air Force C-130 Hercules sits on the tarmac being loded for take-off. With a cruising speed of 336 mph, that is one long ride from Australia.

On Politics

I have avoided commenting on politics for a few reasons - 1) Everyone else comments on it so it's not like it is a scarce subject and 2) I'm on active duty and there are certain restrictions on my freedom of speech. So, commenting as private citizen Bob I have two observations:

1) It has come to my attention that certain presidential candidates have comitted to withdrawing all troops from Iraq in the first year after they are elected. This statement represents one of two possibilities. Possibility #1 is that the candidate is so immensely naive and poorly informed that they have no idea what that commitment acutally involves. Possibility #2 is that the candidate is very well informed but is hoping that the voters are the naive ones and vote for the candidate because the candidate is saying what that voter wants to hear. I'm not commenting on the efficacy of a withdrawal plan, just the reality of putting one into effect.

Even if we started a systematic withdrawal of troops and equipment and everything else today, it would take at least two or three years to clear out of this place. Trust me on this one. Really, it took three months just to get my desk phone enabled to direct dial a number in Washington, DC and all that really involved was 30 seconds of programming on the digital switch network that runs the phone system.

2) There has been much crticism of the fledgling Iraqi Parliment in the last few months. They don't move fast enough. They have not accomplished enough. They are always taking breaks. Take a moment and ask yourself this: What did the U.S. Congress, in existence for going on 220 years, accomplish in the last term? Now compare. Things that make you go "hmmmmm."

Wait a minute . . .

This is not Iraq . . . but the inside of a huge warehouse in Qatar where servicemembers are allowed to take a 4 day R&R pass during their tour.

Yes, the time had come for some rest and recuperation from Iraq and of everyplace I could go, I went to Qatar earlier this month. If you are assigned to Iraq for 6 months or more, you are eligible for four days off IN A ROW! You can choose between going to Qatar or, if you prefer, Qatar. One of the U.S. bases in Qatar has a large R&R operation - they do a pretty good job of it all and honestly, after spending 30 hours trying to get there on what must have been at least 4 canceled/diverted/disappearing flights, we all needed the R&R.

It is all housed in nondescript giant warehouses - even an 8 lane bowling alley. But wait! What says rest and recuperation better than ARMY RULES AND REGULATIONS! Yessss . . . like one long AFN commercial (see the December 18th post). Everyone was allowed THREE beers or glasses of wine per day between the hours of 1800 and 2355. $5 each. No happy hour prices. What, you think I didn't ask? That's right servicemembers, we trust you to operate multi-million dollar equipment, and we count on you to put your life on the line, but yeah, sorry, we don't trust you to drink responsibly, so we need scan your ID card each time you buy a drink to make sure you only have three. (Editors note: Odd, no one asked for my ID when you issued me a sidearm). You had to be chaperoned on an officially sponsored trip to leave base. For those of you who are familar with my travel history and penchant for wondering about a new locale unimpeded, such rules were frustrating. But we were still able to get out an about.

The Art of the Haggle

"Salam welekum my storekeeper friend . . . you may note that I am buying TWO items from your fine establishment, not just one. What is the price for a volume buyer such as myself?" "Oh come now, surely you have a better price for someone who speaks Arabic as well I a do . . . ."

What did I love about Qatar? The same thing I love about Nicaragua, Bangladesh, Taiwan and countless other countries - not only can you haggle, you are EXPECTED to haggle. In fact, it is considered rude NOT to haggle. Being a citizen diplomat, who am I to cast off this local custom, so bargain I did! Sometimes I didn't even want the stuff. But seriously, the Qataris that I came across were really very kind and hospitable (after I told them I was Canadian . . .).

Qatar is on an incredible building spree and has arisen from the desert sand as a modern society in only the last 20 years. Here is a video of part of downtown Doha and the mall we visited.

Old versus new: Dhows not so different from those that have plied the Persian gulf for centuries are framed against the modernity of steel and glass in the sand haze behind them.

The Doha Cultural Center looms large in the shopping district.

Got Plans for Summer 2016?If Qatar gets its way, this will be the sight of the summer games in a short 8 years. Why wait to be awarded the games, we have a little pocket change lying around . . . we'll build the stadium and torch now.

Need carpets, rugs? Moosh moosh kah lah! [not a problem] in Doha! Having not spent more than a few hundred dollars in the past four months, my repressed American consumer mentality was unleashed on this unsuspecting vendor. Well, okay, he probably WAS expecting it.

Hookas sit idle on a balcony above a cafe in old Doha.

The scene at on of many marinas dotting the inlets of the Persian Gulf. Based on the size of the boats here, this one must be reserved for the crafts of household help.


Falconry by Camelback

Although I was repeatedly assured that this camel was of the finest breeding and would garner me accolades and fame at the local camel track, I made the decision to shop around a bit before I committed.

I don't think I look real good in this photo, but I didn't care, it's not like the falcon knew.

Snow?? Nooooo . . . .

Stars & Stripes, January 11, 2008

YES!! It snowed in Baghdad today. Quite incredible. Apparently the white stuff is also a potent tranquilizer as even the insurgents took a breather to admire it. By all accounts, local Iraqis were spellbound by the wonderful winter flakes gently floating down from the sky. The last time this happened in Baghdad, it was the British who were occupying Iraq after WWII. Hmmm, I'm sure there is a conspiracy theory in there someplace. And then after the snow, it rained and then all the flour-fine dust that covers 90% of the base became mud and then I grew two inches taller as the mud started caking to shoes like hard-packed clay and subsequently spread everyplace anyone walked, with small chunks falling off as if they were glaciers falling into the sea. Yeah, that was super fun, just really a good time.

Signs of the Times

From the women in the IZ: Okay, we are REALLY serious guys. Females only. Don't steal the freakin' sign again, alright! Just go back to Salsa Dance night, we are all over there two sheets to the wind anyway looking to imagine we are hooking up with some hot latin guy named Juan when in fact all we have to look forward to is John, the pudgy and disheveled State Department policy analyst with bad breath who keeps stepping on our toes.

The Return of WORD OF THE WEEK (Or in this case, PHRASE OF THE WEEK!)

The Good Idea Fairy

The Good Idea Fairy makes occassional appearances in many offices and operations here at Camp Victory and usually camoflauges herself in the appearance of a visitor, often times from places like Kuwait or America or even sometimes from right here in Baghdad. GIF has many, MANY good ideas and is always very generous in their desire to share the ideas with you. Rarely does reality, time constraints or a general feeling of nausea among the target audience impede GIF's sharing. The best part is that the GIF is willing to let YOU be completely responsible for the acutal implementation of the good idea but will be back to visit when things are going well. The GIF, as a generally accepted scientific fact, is deep in hibernation when anything goes wrong. Whenever someone asks me why I am burning a citronela candle at my desk, I just smile.

Rose Bowl Postscript

The video we taped in Baghdad was shown at the end of the first quarter. Photo credit: Nicole Vartanian (proud member of the Fighting Illini).

The game started around 0100 our time and the Baghdad Alumni Club (or at least those of us still up at 0100) convened in the 3rd Infantry Division conference trailer to enjoy the game. Spirits were high. I have to think the insurgents were still watching Rose Parade reruns or just trying to keep-up with the legal status of Britney Spears' kids since the game passed without any incoming rounds. Nice!